I Don’t Want to be Skinny.

Disclaimer: This is not a body shaming post, all sizes are beautiful and there’s nothing wrong with being skinny! This is strictly about MY body.

More than a Number

It’s currently about 12:15am, Sunday, January 3, 2016. I should be sleeping, but my thoughts are eating away at me, as I toss and turn. So, here I am, wide awake, trying to put them into words.

For the last year or so, I’ve been in and out of gym routines, healthier eating, no sugar, drinking smoothies like crazy, etc. But each time it has only lasted a couple of months, at most. I’ve struggled with body image on and off. I’ve had people tell me that I “would be a knockout” if I would just “lose a few pounds.” My determination kicked in, I gave up sugar, got out of bed before the sun to hit the gym, and I even started a running plan. I quickly realized that I was burning myself out, and my drive and motivation fizzled fast. I gave myself a break, hoping to get it back, but them I started really thinking…

Am I doing this for me?” “If I am, then why can’t I stay motivated?” “Or am I just doing this because of what others have said? Because “he” might like me more if I’m 80lbs lighter?”

I have a confession to make; I don’t want to be skinny.

For so long, I’ve felt the pressure of others to “lose a few pounds,” or “be a smaller size.” I’ve decided that I’m done making changes to my body because others think that I should. I’ve learned to rock the size I’m in, dress it properly, and appreciate my body for all that it is. And, ya know what? The right guy will love me no matter what size I wear!

I appreciate so much all of the encouragement I’ve gotten each time I’ve “embarked” on a new weight loss journey. I’m not saying that I’m going to cancel my gym membership and become a couch potato. Working out makes me feel great! I just don’t want it to become a priority over a good night’s sleep, or time with my family, etc. I’m definitely not going back to eating sugar like crazy either, yuck! I just want to be the healthiest version of me. If that means I lose a few pounds along the way, great! But I’m not going to wear myself out trying to get down to the “ideal” dress size.

My body is nowhere near perfect, but its perfect for me. I’m plus size, and proud! I’m done trying to be something that someone else wants me to be!

A Challenge for your Week!

letter-writing-pic As I laid in bed trying to fall asleep last night, I got to thinking about all of the incredible people the Lord has brought into my life. I’m sure anyone who reads this can find at least one person that makes your life happier, can always put a smile on your face, or would drop everything to help you in a time of need. Does that one person really know how much you appreciate their friendship? Have you told them lately what a blessing they’ve been to you? If not, let’s change that!

My challenge to you this week  is to take time to write someone a letter. Yes, that’s right, I said write… meaning pen and paper. Even if you don’t have their address, find a time that you could hand it to them. Whether it be your Mom, Dad, a former teacher, a pastor, you get the picture! Letter writing is becoming a lost art, and sometimes it’s a hand written letter that can mean the most to someone and we don’t even realize it. For someone to know that you were thinking about them and took the time out of your schedule to hand write them a thank you note, a simple note just to say hi, or a letter to let them know how they’ve impacted your life in a positive way, I’d imagine it’s a pretty good feeling! So this week, take a look at all of the wonderful people in your life and pick at least one to reach out to. I wrote a letter this morning and got it in the mail right away! I plan on writing a few more throughout the week as well! Let’s all take time to let our friends and loved ones know how much we appreciate their presence in our lives. If you think about someone while you’re busy and can’t take the time to write a letter, give them a call. Text messages are great for when you can’t be on the phone, but they’re so impersonal! Go the extra mile to reach out to someone meaningful in your life! Who’s on your heart this week?