I Don’t Want to be Skinny.

Disclaimer: This is not a body shaming post, all sizes are beautiful and there’s nothing wrong with being skinny! This is strictly about MY body.

More than a Number

It’s currently about 12:15am, Sunday, January 3, 2016. I should be sleeping, but my thoughts are eating away at me, as I toss and turn. So, here I am, wide awake, trying to put them into words.

For the last year or so, I’ve been in and out of gym routines, healthier eating, no sugar, drinking smoothies like crazy, etc. But each time it has only lasted a couple of months, at most. I’ve struggled with body image on and off. I’ve had people tell me that I “would be a knockout” if I would just “lose a few pounds.” My determination kicked in, I gave up sugar, got out of bed before the sun to hit the gym, and I even started a running plan. I quickly realized that I was burning myself out, and my drive and motivation fizzled fast. I gave myself a break, hoping to get it back, but them I started really thinking…

Am I doing this for me?” “If I am, then why can’t I stay motivated?” “Or am I just doing this because of what others have said? Because “he” might like me more if I’m 80lbs lighter?”

I have a confession to make; I don’t want to be skinny.

For so long, I’ve felt the pressure of others to “lose a few pounds,” or “be a smaller size.” I’ve decided that I’m done making changes to my body because others think that I should. I’ve learned to rock the size I’m in, dress it properly, and appreciate my body for all that it is. And, ya know what? The right guy will love me no matter what size I wear!

I appreciate so much all of the encouragement I’ve gotten each time I’ve “embarked” on a new weight loss journey. I’m not saying that I’m going to cancel my gym membership and become a couch potato. Working out makes me feel great! I just don’t want it to become a priority over a good night’s sleep, or time with my family, etc. I’m definitely not going back to eating sugar like crazy either, yuck! I just want to be the healthiest version of me. If that means I lose a few pounds along the way, great! But I’m not going to wear myself out trying to get down to the “ideal” dress size.

My body is nowhere near perfect, but its perfect for me. I’m plus size, and proud! I’m done trying to be something that someone else wants me to be!

Fully Trusting 

  

When my heart is feeling anxious,

and my hope begins to fade

I look to You for guidance,

I hit my knees and pray

I know that my desires,

may not be what You have planned,

so I’ll trust in You completely

and cling to Your saving hand.

~Amanda N. Sams

November 27, 2015

Through God’s Eyes

Mercy

Sin’s heavy burden,

The guilt and shame,

Your pillow stained with tears

 

The sleepless nights,

Your countless prayers,

Seemingly unanswered, does He hear?

 

Your past, He’s forgotten

Those sins? He’s erased

Each tear you shed, He’ll dry

 

Loved and forgiven,

Accepted and worthy,

That’s how you look through God’s eyes.

 

~Amanda N. Sams

February 2, 2014

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.”

~Romans 8:1-4 (NLT) 

Signed with Love

Rings on a Bible

To the man God has chosen for me,

  I just wanted you to know that I’m constantly praying for you. I can hardly wait for the day that I finally walk down the aisle to meet you and say “I do.” It’s crazy to think that you could be right in front of me and I won’t know it until the Lord wants me to. I’m looking forward to a life together full of love, laughter, and most importantly growing in Christ and encouraging each other. It’s not going to be perfect, we’re going to have disagreements and go through some tough stuff, but we’ll make it out stronger than we started!

I want our marriage to be so filled with love for each other and love for Jesus that people look at us and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I want to be that couple who grow old together, watch each other go grey, stick together through thick and thin. I want to take time each morning to spend time in God’s word and pray together before we go on with our day.

I can’t wait to wake up next to you and know that The Lord put you in my life as my first love and most importantly my last. Patiently waiting for you is difficult some days, but I know in the end it will be rewarding and completely worth it. I pray that as I spend my season of singleness praying for you and drawing closer to God, you’re praying for me and drawing closer to God as well.

Sooner than we realize we’ll be together, serving the Lord and loving on His people. I can’t wait! Until then, my prayers continue for you, your family, and our marriage. The direction God will take us and how He’ll use us, and the ability for both of us to wait and not just settle because we’re tired of being single. We were made for each other, so hang in there with me! God’s timing is perfect!

With love,

 Single and Waiting

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV)

Thankfulness Journal Challenge!

be-thankful

November, the month that my Facebook feed is flooded with “30 Days of Thankfulness” posts. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! I LOVE seeing what each of my Facebook friends are thankful for. But why only in November? We should be thankful EVERYDAY of the year. Not just one month out of the year, or only on Thanksgiving day.

What if everyday, for a whole YEAR, when we wake up in the morning and before we go to bed each night, we chose one thing that we’re thankful for and write it down in a “Thankfulness” journal. I bet by the end of that year, we’d each realize how blessed we really are and we’d probably even be happier people! OR, each time you find yourself complaining about something, find something in the situation to be thankful for. That would probably be a tad bit more difficult for most of us, wouldn’t it?

Even when we might have legitimate reasons to complain, there are always many reasons to be thankful as well. It’s just a matter of how you look at things.

Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day. 

~Robert Caspar Lintner

So, will you join me for 365 days of thankfulness? I’m not gonna lie, I’m really bad at keeping up with “daily” reading/writing habits, but I’m going to do everything in my power to remember to keep this one up! Share this with friends, in fact why don’t you let THEM know how thankful you are to have them in your life. It doesn’t have to be big things, just BE THANKFUL! 

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,
And into His courts with praise.
Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.
For the Lord is good;
His mercy is everlasting,
And His truth endures to all generations.

~Psalm 100:4-5 (NKJV)

Facebook Page!

Facebook-like-symbol2-300x133

 

Hello wonderful readers and followers! Just a quick post to let you know that I just created a page for this blog on Facebook! So, if you would like to get a behind the scenes look at the writing process, or maybe just some quick thoughts that go through my head throughout the day that aren’t necessarily enough to devote an entire blog post to, then go give this page a “like” on Facebook! It would be much appreciated! Thank you, thank you THANK YOU for each “like,” comment, and view here on WordPress as well! I never imagined that I would reach this point when I created this crazy thing two years ago!

There’s a Facebook “like” box on the right side of the page, or just click HERE to visit the new page!

❤ Thanks!

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”

Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)

God’s Assurance through Ruth and Boaz

Ruth

The Lord has taken me through the book of Ruth three times in the last few months. I figured He was trying to reveal something to me or get an important point across, so of course I obeyed and read it again and again. I thought maybe He was going to use Ruth and Boaz in some way to teach me about relationships, or waiting on Him, you know, the usual stuff. What I actually found, was a lot deeper than any of those points.

Disclaimer: I’m not at all saying that these observations/interpretations line up with what the Bible scholars have to say, they’re just what I’m seeing and the thoughts that are wandering through my brain as I read God’s Word.

In the midst of my third time through Ruth, I was reading the words on the page, but seeing the story from a completely different point of view. Especially once I hit chapter two. Somewhere around verses eight through ten Boaz is speaking to Ruth about not leaving his field to go gather grain elsewhere, that he’ll protect her and make sure she has everything she needs right there.

(8) Then Boaz said to Ruth, “You will listen, my daughter, will you not? Do not go to glean in another field, nor go from here, but stay close by my young women. (9) Let your eyes be on the field which they reap, and go after them. Have I not commanded the young men not to touch you? And when you are thirsty, go to the vessels and drink from what the young men have drawn.”

Ruth’s response? 

(10) So she fell on her face, bowed down to the ground, and said to him, “Why have I found favor in your eyes, that you should take notice of me, since I am a foreigner?”

As I read, I wasn’t reading that as Boaz and Ruth communicating. All I could hear was the Lord using that exchange to reassure me through Boaz of His presence and protection in my life. 

I heard it as something like this-

And the Lord said to me, “you will listen My daughter, will you not? Do not look to man or any other idol. Stay close to Me, let your eyes be on the blessings that place in your life and go after MY will for you. Have I not commanded the devil not to touch you? When you are thirsty, come to Me. My Word will be living water and I will quench your thirst…

My response?

She fell on her face, bowed down to the ground and said to Him, “Why have I found favor in Your eyes, that You should take notice of me, a sinner?”

The answer?

In God’s eyes you are sin free, white as snow, cleansed by the blood of His son who died on the cross for you! He loves you, even though you’re not perfect. He knew that when He created you, that’s why He sent Jesus to die in our place so that when we die, as long as we’ve accepted Jesus, we can hang out in Heaven with Him and all those who have gone on before us.

 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

John 3:16

But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ.

 Ephesians 2:13 (NLT)
*Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture references used in this post were taken from the NKJV.*